You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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