The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
