i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
The Olympian is in my bed
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize