I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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