SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
