so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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