hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
