he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
