I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
