one might say we're banned from that church
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
