yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I could fuck to npr.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
