Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
