and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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