i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
