Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize