There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
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throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
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You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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