my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
