Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
