its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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