oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
