Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
