Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
