i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
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He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
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I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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