If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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