I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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