I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
