The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
