Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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