too bad you live with your parents still
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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