Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
