And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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