So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
