no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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