Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
