My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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