new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
