WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
