Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
