just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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