he wants to bone in the snuggie
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
