I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize