I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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