yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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