Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
