I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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