You work out of a Hotel?
Screwed.edu
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
