A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Randomize
