my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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