Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.

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  (407): I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done. http://tfl.nu/92fz
  Replies (4) Good night (2980) Bad night (642)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.

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  (773): I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs. http://tfl.nu/fbpk
  Replies (17) Good night (767) Bad night (3423)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee

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  (225): Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee http://tfl.nu/zf15
  Replies (29) Good night (5938) Bad night (1276)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous

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  (608): I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous http://tfl.nu/1bk0
  Replies (14) Good night (5437) Bad night (538)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..

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  (313): I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together.. (313): I can't decide if I actually want to know or not.. http://tfl.nu/mkwc
  Replies (18) Good night (962) Bad night (4584)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.

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  (218): Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there. http://tfl.nu/e7vr
  Replies (8) Good night (1269) Bad night (2298)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade

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  (630): I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade http://tfl.nu/zmei
  Replies (22) Good night (4607) Bad night (1748)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?

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  (410): How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila? http://tfl.nu/957o
  Replies (17) Good night (2490) Bad night (1058)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.

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  (201): what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT. http://tfl.nu/yb4q
  Replies (4) Good night (880) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable

  (1-937): View more from Ohio

  I can do at least one of those things.

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  (937): You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable (1-937): I can do at least one of those things. http://tfl.nu/zzd3
  Replies (2) Good night (1765) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.

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  (412): I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever. http://tfl.nu/25nu
  Replies (6) Good night (1830) Bad night (438)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.

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  (404): You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car. http://tfl.nu/j1re
  Replies (3) Good night (930) Bad night (1074)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches

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  (314): Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches http://tfl.nu/40rq
  Replies (1) Good night (1136) Bad night (766)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.

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  (310): I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there. http://tfl.nu/77nt
  Replies (1) Good night (813) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn

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  (603): This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn http://tfl.nu/xvco
  Replies (0) Good night (400) Bad night (189)

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