I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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