my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman