So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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