Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
