I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
