Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You pole danced in your parka.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
