Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
