Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
nutella sex= disaster
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
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i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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