it was like eating out sand paper
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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