just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize