So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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